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There has been much discussion raised about "Why are women leaving Architecture? and more broadly, Why is the profession losing key talent?"  Both women and men practitioners are disillusioned by the myth of work/life balance: Women are grappling with "have it all" expectations of juggling family time with the demands of full-time work.  Men are struggling to support their families solely on an architect's salary and fall back on asking spouses to maintain their jobs. The lack of affordable childcare and high cost of living only magnifies the challenges.  How did we end up in this modern family dilemma? What can we do to improve the situation?

An Archimom's Everyday Moments of Truth: Emily Grandstaff-Rice, FAIA

In my social media feed, it was difficult to overlook the #ArchiTalks series last week prompted by Life of An Architect blogger and architect Bob Borson AIA. With the topic "A Day in the Life of …” the like-minded bloggers/architects did a wonderful job composing a diverse range of responses. While individual contributions, each response was strategically posted on the same day through social media. It was like an early holiday gift of personal narratives about my favorite kind of people—architects.

While reading the many posts, I have learned we all wake up early, we all struggle with things we don't want to do, we all think about the now and the future, and we all eventually go to asleep to wake up and do it again... and again. There were moments in which I saw how my life was similar, but also uniquely different. I was not the only one to notice this. As Laura Thomas AIA and AIASF The Missing 32% pointed out on Twitter, what was missing from the collective group was the voice of an #ArchiMom.

I was encouraged by how many parents (fathers) were featured. My kids are fortunate to have not one, but two architect parents, so I love that parenting was a key part of many of the daily chronicles especially for fathers. But still, where were the mothers?

It's OK. We're used to being flying on their periphery of keeping up with water cooler conversation. I have been known to roll my eyes at the office sports talk in the morning. Either I'm too old or I have to pick up my kids to go out with my co-workers for regular Friday drinks. And yes, I do keep an extra set of clothes at work.

I am an architect. I am a mother. And this is my list of everyday moments of truth to contribute to the conversation because honestly, there is no typical day for me:

  • I work on things that don't get done. Not because I lack the ability to get them done, but because there is no 'done', only an agreement with myself that the work has moved closer to 'good enough'.
  • I think wild thoughts. This is because I am and will always be a dreamer. (This is either a symptom or a side effect of falling in love with architecture.)
  • I get obsessed by details. I get obsessed by process. I get obsessed by typeface. I get obsessed by making an excel spreadsheet. I get obsessed at the screw that is not placed in the right location. If OCD is marked by anxiety and unease of triggers, what do I call when I get really worked by my visual environment? I love to see. I love to think. I love to design. It is very difficult to turn this off and not notice my environment.
  • I get stopped by 10,000 little questions about 10,000 little things every single day. Sometimes my patience runs short. OK, often my patience runs short. Maybe if I wasn't interrupted so much I could get things done... maybe not. Quiet is a luxury.
  • Getting lost in the work is part of the work. Design is not a linear process.
  • Nothing can be found unless it is first declared lost. (My kids are so sick of me saying this.)
  • More than my love for architecture, I love people. Without people there are no buildings.
  • Architecture is a form of education. Architecture is a form of communication. We are as much teachers and storytellers as space creators and problem solvers. We co-create the environment of a space and its meaning. Architecture will always be more than just a building.
  • I work to fulfill both my potential as an architect and to create a better world for my children. Seeing the world through their eyes has been a life changing experience for me. I am a better architect because of them. I am a better person for them.

Emily Grandstaff-Rice, FAIA, LEED AP, @egrfaia

 


Would you like to see more Archimom Stories? See who else has dropped in to share

An Archimom's Everyday Moments of Truth: Blog series

Try to be present in each moment. Each moment is its own gift. You can remember them, but you cannot get them back once they are gone. Hope for the joy of new moments, with their own gifts.
— Joseph Bakter
buildingblocks.jpg

Last Monday, a group of well respected, fellow architect-bloggers who periodically post to #Architalks (the Architect's "social media water cooler") on different topics featured "A typical day in the life of an Architect". Started by Bob Borson (Life of an Architect) #Architalks is a brilliant idea that produced a veritable collection of candid and meaningful stories of "What do Architects do all day?" benefitting the public at large and fellow architects. Many of them shared their perspectives as sole practitioners and noticeably only two were women. By no means exclusive, inadvertently this tweet and the #Architalks blog series lead to some quick self-reflection: Is there a typical day as an Architect through my lens of wife and mother? The short answer was "No. The typical day does not exist in "a day in the life" for me, (and many of my fellow Architect parents and even more so for Architect mothers). 

Enter #Archimom; a unique breed of architect, wife, mother, innovator and chronic overachiever. Archimoms make up part of the 18% of women in architecture who have survived the attrition based on pinch point factors brought out in the Equity by Architecture Survey. The term came from my fellow Syracuse University alumnae, Jung Lee Masters when she was spreading the word about the TM32PP and Equity in Architecture Survey, #Archimom embodies the amazingly talented Architect with the resilient powers of a modern day Marvel Superhero.

Archimom is an alter ego, a new state of mind. You don't need to literally be an "architect and mother" to identify with the mindset. Despite the challenges of time allocation, implicit bias, and constant guilt, we can learn many valuable lessons of finding satisfaction, meaningful work, prioritizing, and work/life flexibility from these Archimoms. Their "real life" truths are the beginning of storytelling as a means to inspire and motivate underrepresented talent to stay in the profession. And as witnessed most recently, an Archimom like Elizabeth Chu Richter, FAIA, who took time off from the profession to raise 3 children can come back to architecture to lead a practice as CEO and become the 2015 President of AIA National. It is nothing short of awe inspiring.

As luck would have it, a conversation developed on Twitter about the great stories on #Architalks and it quickly became apparent that the #Archimom perspective needed and wanted to be shared as well.  So a few of the Archimoms on Twitter decided to join together for a feature week on some everyday moments of truth and secret sauce ingredients for success. We reached out on Twitter for posts by Friday and promised a launch on Sunday.  Emily Grandstaff-Rice was the first to respond and Laura Melville Thomas quickly followed with her personal #Archimom experience.  So what started as a casual conversation on Twitter about using our voices, quickly grew into an amazing series of 13 stories within the course of the week. 

While we are featuring Archimom stories, we welcome more people to share their own adventures for Architecting and Parenting. (Mr. Archimoms welcome too!) What are your Top 10 everyday moments of truth and secret sauce recipe?

LInks to An Archimom's Everyday Moments of Truth Blogposts: (more fun than binge watching Netflix and possibly life changing in the process.)

Overview by Rosa T. Sheng, AIA 

NOTE: This page was last edited on Sunday, December 14, 2014 

 

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